Things to do at Christmas

Things To Do At Christmas


 1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing
    a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Hanukkah.

 2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of
    the neighbor's nativity scene.

 3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer
    jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

 4. Call Park Rangers in your area and tell them Rudolph is sick.
    Ask if you can borrow one of their reindeers. If they tell you
    no, then yell at them telling them they are heartless bastards
    for ruining Christmas for all the children around the world.

 5. Wear a Santa suit to the nearest red light district and stand
    on the corner saying "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as women walk by.

 6. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that
    they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this
    year.

 7. Create snow sculptures in your yard of snowmen in suggestive
    poses.

 8. Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and
    hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the
    bad elves.

 9. Decorate your yard to look like a sleigh and eight tiny
    reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the
    street muttering, "Oh, the humanity".

10. Get a job playing Santa at a corporate Christmas party and
    ask everyone if they'd like to see some naked pictures of
    Santa with the Boss's wife.

11. Sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman
    urns.

12. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children
    they'll get what you give 'em and that's that!

13. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children you
    are sick of the milk and cookies crap and you'd prefer a beer
    and a hot blonde instead.

14. Sell Grinch-skin rugs.

15. Stand on a street corner selling dime bags of mistletoe.

16. Post a sign in front yard that says Carolers Welcome. Then
    when they get almost to the front door turn on the sprinklers.

17. Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they
    no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.

18. Decorate your yard for the holidays using you neighbor's
    decorations.