Saturday, April 19, 2008


"Remember the election in 2006?Thought you might like to read the following. A little over one year ago

1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) The unemployment rate was 4.5%.

"Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we have seen:

1) Consumer confidence plummet;
2) The cost of regular gasoline soar to over $3.50 a gallon;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses);
5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;
6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.

"America voted for change in 2006, and we got it!"

- Author unknown

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Different Ways of Looking at Things

(or the uncertainty of the English language)

    Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.  Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?  "Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden  name?"

    A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

    "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

    A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I  don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the  husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".

    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".
The old man says without  hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

    A brunette calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the brunette says, and hangs up.

    Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

    Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

    A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.

    While shopping for vacation  clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I  asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." He's still in intensive care.