Remarks from CBS Sunday Morning,

 

I Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late ! ! The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary. My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it.It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?' In light of recent events.... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay. (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide) Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.. Are you laughing yet? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.. My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully, Ben Stein

If George Bush was an idiot. . . .

If George W.  Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be  able to get through a press conference, would you have
laughed and said  this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If  George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of  dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have  approved?

If  George W. Bush had reduced your retirement  plan's holdings of GM stock by  90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?

If  George W.  Bush had made a joke at the expense  of the  Special Olympics, would you have  approved?

If  George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when  Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?

If  George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of  his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and  tacky?

If  George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi  Arabia , would you have approved?

If  George W. Bush had visited Austria   and made  reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?

If  George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle  of advisers  with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes,  would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as  to  refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it   was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment?

If George W.  Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potato as proof of what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel  to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?

If George W.  Bush's administration had okayed Air  Force One flying low over millions of  people followed  by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread  panic, would you have wondered whether  they actually get what happened  on 9-11?

If George W.  Bush had failed to send relief aid to  flood victims throughout  the Midwest with more people killed or  made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue
with claims of  racism and  incompetence?
 
If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America,would you have approved.

If  George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority  to  do so, would you have  approved?

If  George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than  two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you  have approved?

If  George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10
years, would you have approved?

So, tell  me again, what is it about Obama that makes  him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't  worry. He's done all  this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years  and seven months  to come up with an answer.

LET'S SEE HOW MANY OF YOU FORWARD THIS...
 

 

 

 

__._,_.___

 

Let me see if I understand all of this...

                       Let me see if I understand all this...




                       IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS
                       HARD LABOR.

                       IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

                       IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER, YOU GET SHOT.

                       BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A DRIVERS LICENSE,
                       SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, AND FREE HEALTH CARE?

Circle Flies !

A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan. Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush's home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Mermaid or Whale?

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex?

Just look at them.....where is IT ? Therefore, they don't have kids either.. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am…¨

Inner Peace

Inner peace I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives! Some doctor on the TV this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, abutle of vocka, a pockage of Pringlies, the res of the Chesescke a n a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr ow frigin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to anyy yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.

 

Fwd: Abraham Lincoln

Go all the way to the bottom
 

 

 
OBAMA, who likes to compare himself to President LINCOLN,  apparently cannot read.

 

Fwd: A Veteran

 

 

A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his/her life wrote a blank check Made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

 

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.

Two Wolves and the Meaning of Life

Two Wolves and the Meaning of Mife

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

:

Cemetery Escort Duty  
 
I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey's.  Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 1655.  Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day.  Full dress was hot in the August sun.   Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever--the heat and humidity20at the same level--both too high.


I saw the car pull into the drive, '69 or '70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new.  It pulled into the parking lot at a snail's pace.  An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers--about four or five bunches as best I could tell.


I couldn't help myself.  The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste:  'She's going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like hell and I'm ready to get out of here right now!'  But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.


Kevin would lock the 'In' gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey's in time.


I broke post attention.  My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch.  I must have made a real military sight:  middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.


I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk.  She looked up at me with an old woman's squint.


'Ma'am,may I assist you in any way?'


She took long enough to answer.


'Yes, son.  Can you carry these flowers?  I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'


'My pleasure, ma'am.'  Well, it wasn't too much of a lie.


She looked again.  'Marine, where were you stationed?'


' Vietnam, ma'am.  Ground-pounder. '69 to '71.'


She looked at me closer.  'Wounded in action, I see.  Well done, Marine.  I'll be as quick as I can.'


I lied a little bigger:  'No hurry, ma'am.'


She smiled and winked at me.  'Son, I'm 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off. Let's get this done.  Might be the last time I can do this.  My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time.'


'Yes, ma 'am.  At your service.'


She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone.  She picked one of the flowers out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone.  She murmured something I couldn't quite make out. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.


She turned away and made a straight line for the Wor ld War II section, stopping at one stone.  I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek.  She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X.Davidson, USMC, 1943.


She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944.


She paused for a second.  'Two more, son, and we'll be done'


I almost didn't say anything, but, 'Yes, ma'am.  Take your time.'


She looked confused. 'Where's the Vietnam section, son?  I seem to have lost my way.'


I pointed with my chin.  'That way, ma'am.'


'Oh!' she chuckled quietly.  'Son, me and old age ain't too friendly.'  


She headed down the walk I'd pointed at.  She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted.  She placed a bunch on Larry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970.  She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn't make out.


'OK, son, I'm finished.  Get me back to my car and you can go home.'


Yes, ma'am.  If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?'  


She paused. 'Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were our sons.  All killed in action, all marines.'


She stopped.  Whether she had finished, or couldn't finish, I don't know.  She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.
I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.
'Get to the 'Out' gate quick.  I have something I've got to do.'


Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him.  He broke the rules to get us there down the service road.  We beat her.  She hadn't made it around the rotunda yet.


'Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost.  Follow my lead.'  I humped it across the drive to the other post.


When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny's voice:  'TehenHut!  Present Haaaarms!'


I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye--full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.
She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice.


I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.


Instead of 'The End,' just think of 'Taps.'


As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: 'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas.  Hold them in your loving ha nds and protect them as they protect us.'


Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.


'In God We Trust.'  


Sorry about your monitor; it made mine blurry too!  


If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under!
 You are required to pass this on NOW!!! 
   

Fwd: Veterans

 

 

Subject: VETERANS

When a  Veteran leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are
jealous, some are pleased, and others,  who may have already retired,
wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know.

1. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few
experience, it will  remain as a longing for those past times.

2. We know in the Military life there is a fellowship which  lasts long
after the uniforms are hung up in the back of the closet.

3. We know even if he throws them away, they will be on him with every
step and breath that remains in his life. We also know how the very
bearing of the man  speaks of what he was and in his heart still is.

These are the burdens of the job. You will still look at people
suspiciously, still see what others do not see or choose to ignore and
always will look at the rest of the Military world with a respect for
what they do; only grown in a lifetime of knowing.

Never think for one moment you are escaping from that life. You are only
escaping the 'job' and merely being allowed to leave 'active' duty.

So what I wish for you is that whenever you ease into retirement, in
your heart you never forget for one moment that you are still a member
of the greatest fraternity the world has ever known.

NOW! Civilian Friends vs. Veteran Friends Comparisons

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you're too busy to talk to them for a week.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry
on the same conversation you were having the last time you met.
------------------------------ ---------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have cried with you.
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
------------------------------ -------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will kick the crowd's ass that left you behind.
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are for life.
----------------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have shared a few experiences...
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have shared a lifetime of experiences no citizen could
ever dream of...
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had
enough.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,
'You better drink the rest of that before you spill it!' Then carry you
home safely and put you to bed...
----------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will knock them the hell out OF THEM for using your
name in vain.
---------------------------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will forward this.
----------------------------------------------------
A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or  reserve- is someone who,
at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The
Government of the United States of America' for an amount of 'up to and
including my life'. . . and military wives are as much veterans as
their spouses.

From one Veteran to another, it's an honor to be in your company. Thank
you.

 

 

---

---

An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

Subject: Economic Recovery Plans

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday.
The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?"  
Dear Mr. President,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy.  Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.   You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.  - Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.  Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR.  Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

Doctors' Opinion of Financial Bail Out Package

Thought you might enjoy some medical humor.


 Doctors' Opinion of Financial Bail Out Package
 

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists
 advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort
 of a gut feeling about it, but
the Neurologists thought the Administration
 had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring
 under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea
 shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the
 Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

 The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their
  hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill
  to swallow, and the Plastic
Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on
  the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the
  Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the
Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won
  out, leaving the entire the
decision up to the assholes in
  Washington


) __._,_.___

Being White

Being White I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is. Proud to be White Michael Richards makes his point...Michael Richards better known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld does make a good point. This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act.  He makes some very interesting points... Someone finally said it... How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc.  And then there are just Americans.  You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,'  'Whitey,' 'Caveman' ...and that's OK. But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist. You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you... so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live? You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom Hashoah. You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi. You have the NAACP. You have BET... If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) we'd be racists.  If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists.  If we had White History Month, we'd be racists.  If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives we'd be racists. We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.  Wonder who pays for that?? A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant. If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships...You know we'd be racists.. There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US, yet if there were 'White colleges' that would be a racist college. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.  If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists. You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it.  But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists. You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist. I am proud...But you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists?? There is nothing improper about this e-mail...Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.  I sadly don't think many will. That's why we have lost most of OUR RIGHTS in this country. We won't stand up for ourselves! BE PROUD TO BE WHITE!  It's not a crime yet, but getting real close!

 

Interesting thought

from the web:

"I'm confused. How could 2,000,000 blacks get into Washington DC in freezing cold overnight when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans in 85 degrees with four days notice?"

Well, now I'm confused too.