Thursday, November 23, 2006

Things you can say only around Christmas time

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fwd: Response from Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. (Ref #000000014237808)

This is a continuing dialog with WalMart....

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: JB
Date: Nov 16, 2006 4:44 PM
Subject: Re: Response from Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. (Ref #000000014237808)
To: "CUSTOMER REPLIES: WM Stores - Sams Clubs" <>

Thank you for your response. Your response tends to ask many more questions.
1. If there is so much decline in the use of the Layaway programs, then why are the layaway areas always full, especially during the holiday season when our local stores in Panama City Beach and the stores in Virginia Beach, VA always having to rent trailers during the holiday season to hold all the layaways?
2. What other retailers, other than the high end stores have phased out layaway?
3. As for your credit offers, what about those who don't have credit cards, or who do not qualify for credit?
4. What about the people who are on fixed incomes or work for the minimum wage scales?
5. Is Wal Mart going to ensure those customers who apply for these credit cards going to get them?
The above questions are very legitament. Not everyone has credit cards or qualify for them, an area where the layaway program allows for them to purchase more higher priced items from your stores. What about these people. WalMart in its adds etc, screams to the heavens about how much it cares for its customers. Doesn't seem like it now. Answer these questions.
Panama City Beach, FL

On 11/15/06, CUSTOMER REPLIES: WM Stores - Sams Clubs <> wrote:
Thank you for your message.

Thank you for your inquiry concerning our Layaway Department.  Today's consumers have several payment plan options that were not available when layaway programs were first created. Because of declining use and increasing costs, Wal-Mart will phase out layaway service this year as the company joins most other retailers who phased out layaway years ago. To assist our customers, we are offering one last opportunity to use the layaway service this Christmas season. Customers will have until November 19th to place items in layaway and merchandise must be picked up by December 8th.

Wal-Mart is also working to offer customers new payment options.  We already have zero interest offers for 6 and 12 months for current Wal-Mart cardholders.  And for the first time, customers who apply for a new Discover or Wal-Mart Credit Card will receive $20 cash back when they apply at the register and purchase at least $100 on their card the same day.

Thank you,
Wal-Mart Customer Service

For further correspondence regarding this issue, please reply to this email.

----Your Original Comments Were----

Shopping today at my local supercenter, I read a sign at the layaway area stating that layaways would only be excepted until Nov, 18, 2006 and must be picked up by Dec 8, 2006. I asked about this and was told by the associate that WALMART was stopping it's layaway program. With all due respect, are you nuts?
In my area there is a Kmart, a Walmart and a Target. Walmart is the most shopped store of it's kind. One of these reasons is due to it's prices and for the local population, exspecailly during the holiday season, the layaway program your stores provide which allow those of us in the lower income brackets the ability to purchase more high priced items "over time" without having to extend ourselves on credit. Without the layaway program at Walmart, I am afraid alot of people in my income bracket and lower will be shifting to Kmart just to be able to purchase these higher priced items the way we have for years.
Again, I think the closing of this program ought to be thought out and reconsidered.
Thank you.

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and intended solely for the individual or entity to whom they are
addressed. If you have received this email in error destroy it
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**************** Wal-Mart Confidential ****************************

joke of the day

Subject: joke of the day

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for one of his aides to come near. "Yes father" said the aide.

"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Charles Schumer before I die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, father" replied the aide. The aide sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response.

Soon the word arrived. Kennedy and Schumer would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Schumer commented to Kennedy "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Kennedy couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Kennedy' s hand in his right hand and Schumer's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Senator Kennedy spoke "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Kennedy.

"Amen" said Schumer.

The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Wal Mart Alert

For those that haven't heard yet, Wal Mart is doing away with the Layaway program at it's stores. What a bunch of crap that is. Guess Kmart will be getting alot more business at Christmas this year! Wal mart must be loosing their minds...
Send a email to the corporate offices of Wal mart at