Monday Morning Jokes: Good Funny

Kinda naughty in sport but pretty funny. ???
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>Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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>Q. What's the height of conceit?
>A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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>Q. What's the definition of macho?
>A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
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>Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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>Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.
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>Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
>A Because it's worth it.
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>Q. What is a Yankee?
>A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
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>Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
>A. They both like a tight seal.
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>Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
>A. Their balls are just for decoration
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>Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and
"aaaaaaah"?
>A. About three inches.
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>Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
>A. For traction in the mud.
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>Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
>A. The grip.
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>Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
>A. It's not hard.
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>Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
>A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
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>Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
>A: 45 pounds.
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>Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
>A: 45 minutes.
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>Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>A: Breasts don't have eyes.
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>Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
>A. The swallow.
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>Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
>A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
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>Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
>A. They don't have balls to scratch