Politics Very funny and true.

> Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama,
> and John Mc Cain
> were flying to a debate.
>
> Barack looked at
> Hillary, .....chuckled and said. ..."You know I could
> throw a $1,000 bill
> out of the window right now and make somebody very
> happy."
>
> Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could
> throw ten $100 bills
> out of the window and make ten people very happy."
>
> John added ..."That being the case, I could throw one
> hundred $10 bills out
> of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
>
> Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and
> said to his copilot,
> 'Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of
> them out of
> the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
>
> I'm voting for the Pilot
>

The Pledge of Allegiance) by a 15 year old

This one goes to anyone who resents being denied the right to public prayer.    --- On Tue, 4/22/08, Nave, Jeannene (Fiducial - US - Cincinnati)         WRITTEN BY A 15 yr. old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA : > >>> > >>>       New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME) ! > >>> > >>>       Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer > >>>       are not allowed in most public schools anymore > >>>       Because the word 'God' is mentioned.... > >>>       A kid in Arizona wrote the attached: > >>> > >>> > >>>       NEW School prayer : > >>>       Now I sit me down in school > >>>       Where praying is against the rule > >>>       For this great nation under God > >>>       Finds mention of Him very odd. > >>>       If Scripture now the class recites, > >>>       It violates the Bill of Rights. > >>>       And anytime my head I bow > >>>       Becomes a Federal matter now. > >>>       Our hair can be purple, orange or green, > >>>       That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. > >>>       The law is specific, the law is precise. > >>>       Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. > >>>       For praying in a public hall > >>>       Might offend someone with no faith at all. > >>>       In silence alone we must meditate, > >>>       God's name is prohibited by the state. > >>> > >>>       We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, > >>>       And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. > >>>       They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. > >>>       To quote the Good Book makes me liable. > >>>       We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, > >>>       And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. > >>>       It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong, > >>>       We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong. > >>>       We can get our condoms and birth controls, > >>>       Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. > >>>       But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, > >>>       No word of God must reach this crowd. > >>>       It's scary here I must confess, > >>>       When chaos reigns the school's a mess. > >>>       So, Lord, this silent plea I make: > >>>       Should I be shot; My soul please take! > >>>       Amen > >>> > >>>       If you aren't ashamed to do this, > >>>       please pass this on. > >>> > >>>       Jesus said, > >>>       'If you are ashamed of me, > >>>       I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' > >>> > >>>       Not ashamed. Pass this on. > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> > >>> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >> > > > > > > >       .

jokes to offend everyone

               JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE


               Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special
Olympics?
               A: Not being retarded
               ***********
               Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
               A: Hypothermia
               **************
               Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out
of the battered wives' shelter?
               A: The dishes, if she knows what's fucking good for her
               ***************
               Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time


               A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
               ***************
               Q: What is the definition of making love'?
               A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
               ****************
               Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in
common?
               A: They don't fucking listen.
               ***************
               Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
               A: Gonorrhea
               ****************
               Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
               A: So women would know what it's like to live with an
irritating cunt once in a while too.
               *****************
               Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
               A. She rolls her own tampons.
               *****************
               Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
               A. Better traction in the mud.
               *****************
               Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
               A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
               *****************
               Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael
Jackson?
               A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's
at least 13 years old.
               *****************
               Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
               A. Marry it.
               *****************
               Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a
hooker?
               A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
               *****************
               Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
               A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're
driving.
               *****************
               Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
               A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
thirty miles an hour.
               *****************
               Q. Why do women call it PMS?
               A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
               *****************
               Q. What's a mixed feeling?
               A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff
in your new car.
               *****************
               Q. What's the height of conceit?
               A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
               *****************
               Q. What's the definition of macho?
               A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
               *****************
               Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor
party?
               A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
               *****************
               Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
               A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your whole
week.
               *****************
               Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
               A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
               *****************
               Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
               A. You know she'll swallow.
               *****************
               Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
education on the same day in Iraq?
               A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
               *****************
               Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
               A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
               ******************
               Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
ball?
               A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
               ******************
               Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch
know when it is bedtime?
               A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
               ******************
               Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
clean the house?
               A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not
time.
               ******************
               Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
               A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that
kick.
               ******************
               Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
               A. Because it's worth it
               __________________