Simple Home Remedies

Pearls of wisdom...something to bring a smile to your face...


1.  If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.  Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2.  Clumsy?  Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3.  You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4.  For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.  Remember to use an egg timer.

5.  A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6.  If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives.  Then, you will be afraid to cough.

7.  Have a bad toothache?  Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8.  Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

• In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
• If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
• If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9.  Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10.  Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES .. . . THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD   FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU  PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

Welfare Poem

        Welfare Poem


                     I cross ocean, poor and broke,
                    Take bus, see employment folk.

                      Nice man treat me good in there,
                      Say I need to see welfare.

                     Welfare say, "You come no more,
                     We send cash right to your door."

                     Welfare checks, they make you
                      wealthy,
                     Medicaid it keep you healthy!

                     By and by, I got plenty money,
                      Thanks to you, American dummy.

                      Write to friends in motherland,
                      Tell them 'come fast as you can.

                      They come in turbans and Ford
                       trucks,
                      I buy big house with welfare bucks.

                     They come here, we live together,
                     More welfare checks, it gets better!

                      Fourteen families, they moving in,
                      But neighbor's patience wearing
                      thin.

                       Finally, white guy moves away,
                       Now I buy his house, and then I
                       say,

                      "Find more aliens for house to
                       rent."
                      And in the yard I put a tent.

                      Send for family they just trash,
                       But they, too, draw the welfare
                       cash!

                     Everything is very good,
                     And soon we own the neighborhood.

                      We have hobby it's called breeding,
                      Welfare pay for baby feeding.

                      Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
                       We get free! We got no bills!

                      American crazy! He pay all year,
                      To keep welfare running here.

                     We think America darn good place!
                     Too darn good for the white man race.

                      If they no like us, they  can scram.

                     Got lots of room in Pakistan.
 It is interesting that the federal government
 provides a single refugee with a monthly allowance of $1,
 890.00 and each can also get an additional $580.00 in
 social assistance for a total of $2,470.00.

This compares very well to a single pensioner who after contributing to the growth and development of America for 40 to 50 years can only receive a monthly maximum of $1, 012.00 in old age pension and Guaranteed Income Supplement.

Maybe our pensioners should apply as refugees!

Lets send this to all Americans, so we can all be ticked off and maybe we can get the refugees cut back to $1, 012.00 and the pensioners  to $2,470 00 and enjoy some of the money we were forced to submit to the Government over the last 40 or 50 years.

Please forward to every American to expose what our elected politicians have been doing over the past 11 years - to
the over-taxed American.

My sentiments exactly

Subj: my sentiments exactly

This woman   should run for president.
Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?... Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care .

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it- I don't care !!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this.

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: "A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out."

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM.
AMEN!