JB's Harbor of Rants about Life

The New Government Symbol

2011-10-05T17:29:00.001-05:00

The government today announced that it is changing its symbol from an Eagle to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

HERE IS ALL I WANT

2011-08-23T19:50:00.001-05:00

ONE Flag, ONE Language, ONE Nation Under God!

ELECTION 2012 IS COMING

A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!

I'M 100% for PASSING THIS ON!!!

Let’s Take a Stand!!!

Obama: Gone!

Borders: Closed!

Language: English only!

Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!

Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!

NO freebies to: Non-Citizens!

We the people are coming! ! !

Only 86% will send this on…should be 100%! What will you do?

I am an AMERICAN!

2011-06-17T13:20:00.001-05:00

I Am the Democratic, Republican Liberal-Progressive's Worst Nightmare. I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, American Veteran, Gun Owning Biker. I am a Master leatherworker. I work hard and long hours with my hands to earn a living.
I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don't push it on others. I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and drive American-made cars, and I believe in American products and buy them whenever I can.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some liberal governmental functionary, Democratic or Republican, that wants to share it with others who don't work!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English.
I believe there should be no other language option.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are Malcolm Forbes, Bill Gates, John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, nor was I a slave. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you!
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!
This is AMERICA ...We like it the way it is and more so the way it was ..so stop trying to change it to look like Russia or China , or some other socialist country!
If you were born here and don't like it... you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you. I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the White House, the seat of our biggest problems.
I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are, but not just because you happen to ride a bike.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license. I think it's good.... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause....Get a job and do your part to support yourself and your family!
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents....
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think!
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA! If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know....
We want our country back! My Country.....I hope this offends all illegal aliens.
My great, great, great, great grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in the Revolution & the War of 1812. My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Mexican American War. My great, great grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the Civil War. My great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Spanish-American War. My grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I. My father watched as his friends died in WW II.
I watched as my friends died in Vietnam, Panama & Desert Storm. My son watched & bled as his friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq. None of them died for the Mexican Flag. Everyone died for the American flag.
Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole, other students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down.
California High School students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.
Enough is enough
This message needs to be viewed by every American; and every American needs to stand up for America .
We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand.
I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the American flag.
If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know. I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list.
And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.
AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS!
Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:
1. Get a sponsor!
2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past!
3. Live by OUR rules!
4. Get a job!
5. Pay YOUR Taxes!
6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it!
7. NOW find a place to lay your head!
If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
We've gone so far the other way . . . bent over backwards not to offend anyone.
Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended!
WAKE UP America! ! !

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS!!!

2011-05-15T17:05:00.001-05:00

I fully support this. Let me state for the record, speaking as a subject matter expert, young men and women join the military and go to war because the adults (who don't go to war) glorify battle and encourage their young to "defend" this country and their way of life. Such honorable service should be a prerequisite for later service in any political position.

We went a long way to throwing all the politicians out of congress in 2010, and if we persevere, we should be able to get rid of another chunk in 2012, to include the current president and all his Czars. Then in 2014 we should be able to finish the job.

NOTE: America has not actually had to defend her shores and way of life from outside forces since 1945. Korea, Cuba,Vietnam, Grenada, Mogadishu, Iraq I and Iraq II, Afghanistan, and most recently Libya did not require American presence.

Conrad Boterweg

Colonel, US Army (Ret.)

561-352-7480

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS!!!!!

No one has been able to explain to me why young men and women serve in the U.S. Military for 20 years, risking their lives protecting freedom, and only get 50% of their pay. While Politicians hold their political positions in the safe confines of the capital, protected by these same men and women, and receive full pay retirement after serving one term.

It just does not make any sense.

Monday on Fox news they learned that the staffers of Congress family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. This will get national attention if other news networks will broadcast it. When you add this to the below, just where will all of it stop?
35 States file lawsuit against the Federal Government
Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.

This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on.

This is an idea that we should address.

For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.

If each person that receives this will copy and forward it on to 12 people, in three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message.. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.

Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ."
You are one of my 12+

Time to Fix Ourselves!

2011-04-12T19:04:00.001-05:00

We as Americans need to stand up be better stewards of this great nation that was entrusted to us by GOD. Obama is not the problem. We and I mean this country voted him in. If you did not vote for him fine I understand that but how much time did we spend helping someone worthy of the Presidential Office get a campaign started on the local level to one day run for the oval office. Folks it is not the governments fault it is OURS we vote these officials in office. If you are a man or woman of good moral standing and will not be swayed by the rotten money grabbers in Washington dc then I say run for local government then state government and then US government. I WILL VOTE FOR YOU and so many more will to. My friends it all starts with us at the bottom of the food chain the backbone of this great nation of thinkers and doers. In a time of turmoil that this country of the greatest men and women on earth we all need to ask yourself a question. CAN I HELP RESHAPE THIS LAND? I believe that answer is yes. I know that there are people out there worthy of holding public offices at each level and we all know at least one. Lets come together convince these people to run for offices and give them the support they need to lead our country back to the greatness that it once had.

People always say, "It's Obamas fault" or "It's Bushes fault". Your wrong on both counts. I say it's Clintons fault. He is the one that put through NAFTA and that is where all the jobs and money went. We need to get our American owned companies back into America and get back to a manufacturing based economy and not a service based economy. Obama is talking about all the new jobs that are in America now and that we are on the road to recovery. I say B.S. All these jobs are low paying service jobs. Where the hell are the manufacturing jobs that made this country great and powerful and respected? They are all over seas now. Buy American is the way to go. Too bad they don't have a label on the American products to tell you if it is truly American Made. The product may be American owned but odds are it is manufactured outside the US. We have become a nation of lazy consumers that manufacture nothing for ourselves. We need to get the government off our backs and out of our pockets and make it easier for a person to start their own business without having to jump through all the hoops and government red tape that is needed to do business in this country. We also need term limits on ALL elected offices. DC is nothing but a good ol' boys club and the only thing they are interested in is re-election. The government was never meant to be a career. The founding fathers saw it as a term of service and then they returned to the private sector. I refuse to vote for any incumbent politician and I urge ALL Americans to do the same. If the incumbent is running for re-election then vote for the other guy.
Quit this partisan arguing amongst ourselves. You must realize that once these guys get elected they are no longer Republicans or Democrats. They all become Republicrats and are now members of the DC Good ol' Boys Club. Stop blaming the President no matter who he is. The only power the president has is the veto. The House and the Senate are the ones spending all your hard earned tax dollars. If you want to see real change, quit returning these morons and get some fresh faces and ideas into those bodies of government

Reflections On Military Service

2011-03-23T20:21:00.001-05:00

YOU CAN LEAVE THE MILITARY, BUT IT NEVER REALLY LEAVES YOU.

This article by Ken Burger in The Charleston Post and Courier sums it
up quite well. The article appeared on Thursday, March 4, 2010.

Occasionally, I venture back to Naval Air Station, Meridian,
Mississippi, where I'm greeted by an imposing security guard who looks carefully at my identification card, hands it back and says, "Have a good day, Chief." Every time I go back to any Navy Base it feels good to be called by my previous rank, but odd to be in civilian clothes, walking among the servicemen and servicewomen going about their duties as I once did, many years ago. The military is a comfort zone for anyone who has ever worn the uniform. It's a place where you know the rules and know they are enforced, a place where everybody is busy, but not too busy to take care of business.

There exists behind the gates of every military facility an
institutional understanding of respect, order, uniformity,
accountability and dedication that becomes part of your marrow and
never, ever leaves you. Personally, I miss the fact that you always
knew where you stood in the military, and who you were dealing with.
That's because you could read somebody's uniform from 20 feet away and know the score. Service personnel wear their careers on their sleeves, so to speak. When you approach each other, you can read their name tag, examine their rank and, if they are in dress uniform, read their ribbons and know where they've served.

I miss all those little things you take for granted when you're in the
ranks, like breaking starch on a set of fatigues fresh from the
laundry and standing in a perfectly straight line military formation
that looks like a mirror as it stretches to the endless horizon. I
miss the sight of troops marching in the early morning mist, the sound of boot heels thumping in unison on the tarmac, the bark of drill instructors and the sing-song answers from the squads as they pass by in review.

To romanticize military service is to be far removed from its reality,
because it's very serious business, especially in times of war. But I
miss the salutes I'd throw at officers and the crisp returns as we
criss-crossed with a "by your leave sir".

I miss the smell of jet fuel hanging heavily on the night air and the
sound of engines roaring down runways and disappearing into the
clouds. The same while on carrier duty. I even miss the
hurry-up-and-wait mentality that enlisted men gripe about constantly, a masterful invention that bonded people more than they'll ever know or admit. I miss people taking off their hats when they enter a building, speaking directly and clearly to others and never showing disrespect for rank, race, religion or gender. Mostly, I miss being a small cog in a machine so complex it constantly circumnavigates the Earth and so simple it feeds everyone on time, three times a day, on the ground, in the air or at sea.

I don't know anyone who has served who regrets it, and doesn't feel a
sense of pride when they pass through those gates and re-enter the
world they left behind with their youth.

* Any man or woman who may be asked in this century what they did to make life worthwhile in their lifetime....can respond with a great deal of pride and satisfaction, "I served a career in the United States Navy."

Why is the USA BANKRUPT?

2011-03-10T18:09:00.001-06:00

Bankruptcy 101...why Arizona did the right thing!!
It's easy to dismiss individual programs that benefit non-citizens until they're put together and this picture emerges. Someone did a lot of research to put together all of this data.

Often these programs are buried within other programs making them difficult to find.
A Real Eye Opener ...
WHY is the USA BANKRUPT?
Informative, and mind Boggling!
You think the war in Iraq was costing us too much? Read this:
We have been hammered with the propaganda that the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us.
I now find that to be RIDICULOUS.
I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them. I have also included the URL's for verification of all the following facts...

1.11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year by state governments.
Verify At: http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8

2. 22 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps,WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.
Verify At: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML

3. 2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.
Verify at: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML

4.12 Billion a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English!
Verify At: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt..0.HTML

5.17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
Verify At http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML

6.3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.
Verify at:
http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML

7.30% percent of all Federal Prison Inmates are illegal aliens.
Verify At: http://transcripts.CNN.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML
8.90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers.
Verify At: http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML

9.200 Billion dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.
Verify At: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRI PTS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML

10.The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the U.S.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn..com/TRANscriptS/0606/12/ldt..01.HTML

11. During the year of 2005, there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border, also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from terrorist countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, crystal meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the US from the southern border.
Verify at: Homeland Security Report:

12.The National Policy Institute estimated the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.
Verify At: http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute..org/PDF/deportation.PDF

13. In 2006, illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances to their countries of origin.
Verify at: http://www/.rense.com/general75/niht.htm

14. The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration:

Nearly One million sex crimes committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States .....
Verify at: http: // www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

The total cost is a whopping
338.3 BILLION DOLLARS

A YEAR AND IF YOU'RE LIKE ME,

HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING

THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY; IT IS

$338,300,000,000.00

WHICH WOULD BE ENOUGH TO STIMULATE THE ECONOMY FOR THE CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY.
Are we THAT Stupid?
YES, FOR LETTING THOSE IN THE U.S. CONGRESS GET AWAY WITH LETTING

THIS HAPPEN YEAR AFTER YEAR!!!!!
If this doesn't bother you, then just ignore the message. If, on the other hand, it does raise the hair on the back of your neck, I hope you copy and forward it to every legal resident in the United States .

A Boy's Understanding

2011-03-10T17:58:00.001-06:00

I was eating lunch today with my 10 year old grandson when his mom asked him "What is tomorrow?" He said "It's President's Day"
She asked "What does that mean?" ... I was waiting for something
profound...
He said, "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."
I almost choked on my iced tea...

Gas Prices!

2011-03-02T19:38:00.001-06:00

so few words so much truth

2011-02-27T10:41:00.001-06:00

Barrack Hussein Obama:

ARE WE REALLY FOOLS, OR WERE WE FOOLED? I BELIEVE THE LATTER, AND THE SAYING "FOOL ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU, FOOL ME TWICE SHAME ON ME"!

QUOTE OF THE CENTURY, MAYBE EVEN THE MILLENIUM
Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way you can understand them. This quote came from the Czech Republic . Someone over there has it figured out.
We have a lot of work to do.

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.
The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America . Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.
The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."

Beer Poster

2011-02-07T18:29:00.001-06:00

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

2011-01-24T11:12:00.000-06:00

Please enjoy and understand the following:

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE
SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME,
IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM
IT ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK
ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF
"ASSTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

A Real Woman

2011-01-23T10:28:00.001-06:00

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will Never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never
Thought he could do; to live without fear
And forget regret. She will enable him to
Express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most
handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy,
Seductive and invincible...

No wait... Sorry.
I'm thinking of whiskey.
It’s whiskey that does all that stuff.
Never mind.

Pizza Mogul exploring GOP Presidential Bid. (CNN)

2011-01-15T20:30:00.001-06:00

http://www.cnn.com/2011/POLITICS/01/13/herman.cain/index.html?hpt=C2

Herman Cain is a Georgia businessman who is thinking outside the box. I read the article to learn who Herman Cain was. Can’t say I know a lot now but I am intrigued by the man. But what gets me is this comment from a professor in GA about the GOP:

"It's hard to see him as a likely nominee of the Republican Party since, generally speaking, Republican nominees have come from establishment orientation," Grant said. "And even beyond that, almost all Republican nominees have significant office-holding experience before being nominated."

Well maybe if this is the truth within the GOP maybe it’s time to start thinking and working out of the box and work to elect someone who isn’t from the establishment. What do you think?

Today’s Society! WTFO!?!

2011-01-13T17:42:00.001-06:00

Take a good look around you. What do you as a person see? I see a world of billions of people who have lost their frick’n minds!! What’s next? This weekend we had a young man who has slipped into a reality well beyond our own and shot 19 people, killing 6. We have a congresswoman in a hospital bed in Tucson fighting for her life and we have people badgering her because of what she stands for. A President who was doing his duty in speaking for these people, who actually did a good job of doing it without going all political and here we go with the comments that it was all a publicity stunt. Not what I saw. Don’t take that I am a supporter of the O’Grand Obama because I am not. Didn’t vote for him or anyone of his cronies. Don’t support their ideas either. He did what he should have done as the President, just as I have witnessed before by Presidents Clinton, Reagan and Bush just to name a few. Moving on. The Middle East is collapsing. Governments falling apart. People blowing each other up. Why? Because they are led by people who are clueless. They think their beliefs override every one else’s. Are you a Christian, a Muslim , an atheist, Baptist, Presbyterian, etc. you get the point. We are a world of people who need to get along with each other and worry about what this world will be like for our children. We need to stop acting like a bunch a idiots and start thinking about helping one another. We have flooding, earthquakes, tsunamis, fires, volcano’s erupting all over this world with thousands dying daily and you are worried about what religious book and figure you believe in. STUPID. I believe in GOD. Whether you call him God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, or Jim Bob. It’s the same. Get a grip and start worrying about you fellow man and what we can do to each other survive and make a better world for our children.

Fwd: FW:

2011-01-08T15:26:00.001-06:00

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.

'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. !

'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.

Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice.. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer... I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 16.

It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 AM. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.'

When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room.

The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers -- It cost 7 cents a paper, and they got to keep 2 cents. They had to get up at 6 AM every morning.

On Saturday, they had to collect the 42 cents from their customers. Their favorite customers were the ones who gave them 50 cents and told them to keep the change. Their least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :

Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.

Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water

3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels... [if you were fortunate])
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S& H Greenstamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

Don't forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really OLD friends......

Happy New Years!

2011-01-02T12:21:00.001-06:00

Hope everyone has a Happy New Year and has a great 2011! May this year bring prosperity and happiness to you and yours.

Put Me in Charge

2010-12-14T19:30:00.001-06:00

This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco, TX 18 Nov 2010

Put me in charge ...

Put me in charge of food stamps. I'd get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Hos, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I'd do is to get women
Norplant birth control implants or tubal libations. Then, we'll test
recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place. In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a government job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the common good.

Before you write that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be demeaning and ruin their self esteem, consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other peoples mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

Alfred W. Evans, Gatesville

And do they REALLY need that cell phone?

Bits of Wisdom

2010-11-23T17:15:00.001-06:00

Conscience is what hurts

When everything else feels good.

*************************

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

***************************

Even if you are on the right track,

You'll get run over if you just sit there.

***************************

An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.

A pessimist fears this is true.

**************************

There will always be death and taxes;

However, death doesn't get worse every year.

***************************

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

***************************

I plan on living forever. So far, So good.

***************************

A day without sunshine is like night.

**************************

It's frustrating when you know all the answers,

But nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

***************************

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,

but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

***************************

Brain cells come and brain cells go,

But fat cells live forever.

***************************

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom.

Sometimes it comes alone.

***************************

I smile because I am your friend!

I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.

New TSA Bumper Stickers

2010-11-22T20:37:00.001-06:00

Here's some hot-off-the-presses bumper stickers:

A new look!

2010-11-22T19:45:00.001-06:00

Decided to change the look of the old blog. What do you think of the new look?

Only on the water

2010-11-21T21:58:00.001-06:00

Only on the water can you see such a beautiful night.

For the Forty-ish and older crowd: remember when?

2010-10-21T15:59:00.001-05:00

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious! (even if you aren't over 40, its funny)
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm (almost) over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in Utopia!

And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents! Plus you had to learn the proper format for writing the letter. And you didn't know if people were getting your letters either if they didn't reply back.

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe! Oh, and we got "the belt."

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Which.....was a pasttime of some kids.
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! (I actually remember seeing the first CD in my life....we all stood around marveling at it wondering where the information on it was stored - in the silve edge - on the whole thing - everyone was afraid to touch it because we'd ruin it. But! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! Or, pre-plan coded rings so you knew who it was and knew to answer after a certain ringing pattern.

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!? And if you were in the room when dad wanted the channel changed or the volume adjusted....guess what your "job" was?

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! Actually I got to ride in the back of the pickup truck with the dog and play around and learned to hang on and rolled around in the back!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in the 1970's or any time before! Or....you might have thought it was way better than what you got now. In some ways, I think we had a lot more back then.

Regards,

The Over 40 Crowd

SO PATHETICALLY TRUE

2010-09-22T19:40:00.001-05:00

SO PATHETICALLY TRUE

OH USA YA RIGHT!!

We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,?????????

In the last month we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey .

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income'

Receive no aid or get any breaks while our

Government and religious organizations pour

Hundreds of Millions of $$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!

We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.

USA a country where we have homeless without shelter,

children going to bed hungry,

Elderly going without 'needed' meds, and

Mentally ill without treatment - etc, etc.

YET...................

They have a 'Benefit' for the people of Haiti

On 12

TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US'

The same support they give to other

Countries.

Sad isn't it?

99% of people won't have the guts to copy this and send it on.
I Just Did!

THE TALIBAN BY JEFF FOXWORTHY

2010-09-22T19:36:00.001-05:00

Some interesting observations on the Taliban by that great American philosopher, Jeff Foxworthy.

  "You may be a Taliban if…"

1. You refine heroin for a living, but have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs..

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a secret crush on your neighbor's goat.

Fwd: Neighborhood restaurant incident

2010-04-13T20:54:00.001-05:00

Don't know and it really doesn't matter if this is true or not; it's a good illustration...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please read the following - this is from a member of a 912 group in Westerville , Ohio

I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the successful passing of the recent health care bill. I could not finish my breakfast. This is what ensued:

They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes. I heard the young man exclaim, "Isn't Obama like Jesus Christ? I mean, after all, he is healing the sick." The young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, "Yeah, and he does it for free. I cannot believe anyone would think that a free market would work for health care. They are all crooks and thieves and don't deserve all of that money." Another said, 'The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so they can inherit all of the power. Obama should be made a Saint for what he did for those of us less fortunate." At this, I had had enough.

I arose from my seat, mustering all the restraint I could find, and approached their table. "Please excuse me; may I impose upon you for one moment?" They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation. I stood at the end of their table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.

"I would like to give one of you my house. It will cost you no money and I will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live there. Anyone interested?" They looked at each other in astonishment. "Why would you do something like that?" asked a young man, "There isn't anything for free in this world." They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just made my point. "I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money what so ever. Anyone interested?" In unison, a resounding "Hell Yeah" fills the room.

"Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to who receives this money free bargain." I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle unfolding before their eyes, the old man shaking his head in apparent disgust. "I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey my rules." Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on their faces. The perky young woman asked, "What are the rules?" I smiled and said, "I don't know. I have not yet defined them. However, it is a free home that I offer you." They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, "What an old coot. He must be crazy to give away his home. Go take your meds, old man." I smiled and leaned into the table a bit further. "I am serious, this is a legitimate offer." They gaped at me for a moment.

"Hell, I'll take it you old fool. Where are the keys?" boasted the youngest among them. "Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then?" I asked. The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from the privacy of their table. "Oh hell yeah! Where do I sign up?" I took a napkin and wrote, "I give this man my home, without the burden of financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms that I shall set forth upon consummation of this transaction." I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out his signature. "Where are the keys to my new house?" he asked in a mocking tone of voice. All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the keys from pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.

"Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all of your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated to adhere from this point forward. You may only live in the house for one hour a day. You will not use anything inside of the home. You will obey me without question or resistance. I expect complete loyalty and admiration for this gift I bestow upon you. You will accept my commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the nature. Your morals and principles shall be as mine. You will vote as I do, think as I do and do it with blind faith. These are my terms. Here are your keys." I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumb founded.

"Are you out of your freaking mind? Who would ever agree to those ridiculous terms?" the young man appeared irritated. "You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding it and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only after you committed to the agreement." Was all I said. The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him. I was looking at a now silenced and bewildered group of people. "You can shove that stupid deal up you're a** old man, I want no part of it" exclaimed the now infuriated young man. "You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your friends; you cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it. I do not intend to let you free now that I have you ensnared. I am the power you agreed to. I am the one you blindly and without thought chose to enslave yourself to. In short, I am your Master." At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group against the unfairness of the deal.

After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my true intent. "What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you with the health care legislation. I easily suckered you in and then revealed the real cost of the bargain. Your folly was in the belief that you can have something you did not earn; that you are entitled to that which you did not earn; that you willingly allowed someone else to think for you. Your failure to research, study and inform yourself permitted reason to escape you. You have entered into a trap from which you cannot flee. Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives it unto you. A freedom that is given can also be taken away; therefore, it is not freedom." With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished young man. "This is the nature of your new health care legislation."

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation and was surprised by applause. The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand enthusiastically and said, "Thank you Sir, these kids don't understand Liberty these days." He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, "You earned this one, it is an honor to pickup the tab." I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled, and sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.

Use reason, it is the closest you are going to get to Godly conduct
Clifford A. Wright

Please feel free to share with others

READ THIS ABOUT OUR SS CHECKS

2010-04-10T09:46:00.001-05:00

READ THIS ABOUT OUR SS CHECKS

JUST A REMINDER --- WE NEED MORE CHANGE AGAIN. IN NOVEMBER !!!!!

A good friend sent this to me today, and I feel soooo stongly that it is the right way to go I'm asking everybody to READ, HEED, and VOTE in November 2010. It is LONG PAST the time that THE PEOPLE should have reacted to the abuses of power we gave to these politicians in years past. I love America, fought for America, and don't want my grandchildren to be taxed for my poor management policies.

THIS IS THE ONE THAT WILL FLIP YOU OUT!!

THE SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION IS FUNDING TWENTY FOUR MILLION DOLLARS--LET ME REPEAT THAT AMOUNT...

SO YOU UNDERSTAND IT $ 24,000,000.00 DOLLARS FOR NEW ELECTRONIC MEDICAL RECORDS PROCESSING FOR OUR CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS !!

THEY ARE OBTAINING THESE FUNDS

And

I QUOTE DIRECTLY FROM THE SOCIAL SECURITY WEBSITE...

"THIS MONEY WILL BE COMING FROM THE SAVINGS TO BE GENERATED

FROM WITHHOLDING "COST OF LIVING INCREASES FOR 2010 & 2011

In SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS FOR THE ELDERLY

AND A $2.00 INCREASE ON ALL MEDICARE RX BENEFIT CO-PAY"

Please pass this to ALL your friends and have them

"PROTEST TO THE IDIOTS WE ELECTED TO CONGRESS"

Who by the way, have just voted themselves ANOTHER 3% SALARY INCREASE!!!

We must put a stop to this outright thievery!

It is THE CONGRESS AND THE SENATE, BOTH REPUBLICAN AND DEMOCRATS, WE CAN'T FIRE THEM, BUT WE SURE CAN NOT RE-ELECT THEM,

And WE CAN IMPEACH THEM

Or DEMAND RECALL ELECTIONS !!!

HOW ABOUT WE ALL GET TOGETHER AND DUMP THESE CLOWNS.

All I ask is that you consider the suggestion here.

The entire Congress of the United States is corrupt.

And I mean both Houses and I mean both major parties.
I realize that a few Members of each House are trustworthy,

But,

As a group they are absolutely the most corrupt bunch

To ever disgrace our Nation.
In November of 2010

The entire House of Representatives will stand for re-election;

All 435 of them.

One third of the Senate,

A total of 33 of them, will also stand for re-election.

Vote every incumbent out.
And I mean every one of them.

No matter their Party affiliation.

Let's start all over in the House of Representatives with 435 people

Who have absolutely no experience in running that body,

With no political favors owed to anyone but their own constituents.

Let's make them understand that they work for us...
They are answerable to us

And they simply have to run that body with some common sense.
Two years later, in 2012,

Vote the next third of the incumbents in the Senate out.
We can do the same thing in 2014 and,

By that time we will have put all new people in that body as well.

We, the People,

Have got to take this Country back and we HAVE to do it peacefully.
That's what the Framers of our Constitution envisioned.

I am also suggesting term limits on the NEW BUNCH -

8 YEARS FOR REPRESENTATIVES AND 12 YEARS OF SENATORS.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

THE LONGER THEY STAY IN OFFICE THE MORE POWER THEY GET

AND THEY LOVE IT AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET RE-ELECTED.

WE HAVE TERM LIMITED THE PRESIDENT -

NOW LET'S TERM LIMIT THE LEGISLATORS.

Please,

If you love this Country,

Send this (as I have done) to absolutely everyone

Whose email address appears in your address book..
This thing can permeate this Country in no time.

Let's make it happen.**

VOTE THE POWER ABUSERS OUT...

LET'S TAKE AMERICA BACK !!!

IF YOU LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING IN OUR COUNTRY,

THEN DO NOTHING

http://www.congress.org/congressorg/bio/userletter/?letter_id=4794711031

545 People Vs. 300,000,000 People

2010-04-09T16:24:00.001-05:00

Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando
> Sentinal has hit the nail directly on the head, defining clearly who it is
> that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgements
> made that impact each one of us every day.
>
> It's a short but good read. Worth the time. Worth remembering!
>
> 545 vs. 300,000,000
>
> EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST
> HAS scriptED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY
>THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.
>
>
> Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.
> 545 PEOPLE--By Charlie Reese
>
> Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and
>then campaign against them..
>
> Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are
>against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
>
> Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation
> and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
>
> You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
>
> You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations.
>The House of Representatives does.
>
> You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
>
> You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
>
> You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank
>does.
>
> One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme
>Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are
>directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic
>problems that plague this country.
>
> I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that
>problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated
>its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally
> chartered, but private, central bank.
>
> I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.
>They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce
>a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.
> I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash.
> The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter
>what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to
>determine how he votes.
>
> Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that
>what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common
>con regardless of party.
>
> What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive
>amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of
>a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating
> deficits..... The president can only propose a budget.
> He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
>
> The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
>responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and
>approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House?
> Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority
>party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve
>any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass
>it over his veto if they agree to.
>
> It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace
>545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence
>and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic
>problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When
>you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power
>of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is
>what they want to exist.
>
> If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
>
> If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red
>...
>
> If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ , it's because
>they want them in IRAQ
>
> If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement
>plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
>
> There are no insoluble government problems.
>
> Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom
>they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts
>and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power
>to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all,
>do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied
> mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation,"
>or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take
>an oath to do.
>
> Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
>
> They, and they alone, have the power..
>
> They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who
>are their bosses.
>
> Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees...
>
> We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
>
> Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
>
> What you do with this article now that you have read it......... Is
> up to you.
> This might be funny if it weren't so darned true.
> Be sure to read all the way to the end:
> Tax his land,
> Tax his bed,
> Tax the table,
> At which he's fed.
>
> Tax his tractor,
> Tax his mule,
> Teach him taxes
> Are the rule.
> Tax his work,
> Tax his pay,
> He works for peanuts
> Anyway!
>
> Tax his cow,
> Tax his goat,
> Tax his pants,
> Tax his coat.
>
> Tax his ties,
> Tax his shirt,
> Tax his work,
> Tax his dirt.
>
> Tax his tobacco,
> Tax his drink,
> Tax him if he
> Tries to think.
>
> Tax his cigars,
> Tax his beers,
> If he cries
> Tax his tears.
>
> Tax his car,
> Tax his gas,
> Find other ways
> To tax his ass.
>
> Tax all he has
> Then let him know
> That you won't be done
> Till he has no dough.
>
> When he screams and hollers;
> Then tax him some more,
> Tax him till
> He's good and sore.
> Then tax his coffin,
> Tax his grave,
> Tax the sod in
> Which he's laid...
>
> Put these words
> Upon his tomb,
> Taxes drove me
> to my doom...'
>
> When he's gone,
> Do not relax,
> Its time to apply
> The inheritance tax..
> Accounts Receivable Tax
> Building Permit Tax
> CDL license Tax
> Cigarette Tax
> Corporate Income Tax
> Dog License Tax
> Excise Taxes
> Federal Income Tax
> Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
> Fishing License Tax
> Food License Tax
> Fuel Permit Tax
> Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
> Gross Receipts Tax
> Hunting License Tax
> Inheritance Tax
> Inventory Tax
> IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
> Liquor Tax
> Luxury Taxes
> Marriage License Tax
> Medicare Tax
> Personal Property Tax
> Property Tax
> Real Estate Tax
> Service Charge Tax
> Social Security Tax
> Road Usage Tax
> Recreational Vehicle Tax
> Sales Tax
> School Tax
> State Income Tax
> State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
> Telephone Federal Excise Tax
> Telephone Federal Universal Service FeeTax
> Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
> Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
> Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
> Telephone State and Local Tax
> Telephone Usage Charge Tax
> Utility Taxes
> Vehicle License Registration Tax
> Vehicle Sales Tax
> Watercraft Registration Tax
> Well Permit Tax
> Workers Compensation Tax
>
> STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100
>years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We
>had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
> and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
>
> What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'
>
> I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!! YOU
>can help it get there!!!
> GO AHEAD - - - BE AN AMERICAN!!!
> ps Please do the right thing and highlite
>and delete any addresses you received as you pass this message along.
 

15 year old kid...his essay!

2010-03-23T19:57:00.001-05:00

Written by: a 15 yr. old school kid in Arizona:

New Pledge of Allegiance!

Since the Pledge of Allegiance

an The Lord's Prayer

are not allowed in most

public schools anymore

Because the word 'God' is mentioned....

A kid in Arizona wrote the attached

NEW School prayer :

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

If you aren't ashamed to do this,

please pass this on.

Jesus said,

'If you are ashamed of me,

I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'

Not ashamed. Pass this on.

____________________________________________________________

World's Shortest Books (Some funny ones here!)

2010-02-23T18:16:00.001-06:00

The World's Shortest Books

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

by Barack Obama

____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

OTHER BLACK PEOPLE I'VE MET WHILE YACHTING

by Tiger Woods

____________ _________ _________ _________ _______

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY

by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan

Illustrated by Michael Moore

____________ _________ _________ _________ _

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA

by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

____________ _________ _________ _________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

by Hillary Clinton

____________ _________ _________ __

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY

THE SEQUEL

by Bill Clinton

____________ _________ _________ _____

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD

by Bill Gates

____________ _________ _________ ______

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY

by Dennis Rodman

____________ _________ _________ ___

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE

by Al Gore & John Kerry

____________ _________ _________ _______

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

____________ _________ _________ _____

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES

by Dr. J. Kevorkian

____________ _________ _________ ____

TO ALL THE MEN WE'VE LOVED BEFORE...

by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel

____________ _________ _________ ___

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

____________ _________ _________ _________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLER(S)

by O.. J. Simpson

____________ _________ _________ _________ __

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY

by Ted Kennedy

____________ _________ _

MY BOOK OF MORALS

by Bill Clinton

introduction by Rev. Jesse Jackson

____________ _________ _

WOMEN I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH

by TIGER WOODS

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

AND JUST ADDED:

COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OF MILITARY STRATEGY!

by Nancy Pelosi

Fwd: FW: Attitude

2010-02-02T19:31:00.001-06:00

READ THIS
LET IT REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE .

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!

You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life..

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower..

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'.'

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything .

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday..

You have two choices now:

01. Delete this

02. Forward it to the people you care about.

You know the choice I made.

2010-01-27T20:21:00.001-06:00

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. ♥ So love the people who treat you right. ♥ Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

We’re Tired and We’re Not Going to Take This Any More: A Call to Arms

2010-01-03T10:29:00.001-06:00

They Have Awoken a Sleeping Giant –

1. We're tired of politician's stealing our money in the name of social justice and we're tired of their programs that promote socialism which we don't agree with.
2. We're tired of being criticized and called selfish when we say that we would like to spend our money in the way that we wish and not give to government programs that support 'victims' who don't support their local communities, churches, schools and organizations like we do.
3. We're tired of being told that God should not be in politics in a world where selfishness and deceit are rampant and abortion is legal.
4. We're tired of the innocent killing of babies being promoted as a form of birth control and abortion being promoted as a right.
5. We're tired of being taken for granted and told that the politicians know what is best for us better than we do.
6. We're tired of being lied to by a media that only tells half a story – A media that produces untrue pictures in favor of those they love and in opposition to those they hate.
7. We're tired of a media who tells us that to be Christian or God loving is immature or silly.
8. We're tired of a media that tells us that our military are murderers and that we are causing terrorists to murder.
9. We're tired of being told that we are the evil ones when we don't accept the lies of the media or government.
10. We're tired of being told constantly why we should hate our great country, the most giving country ever in world history.
11. We're tired of being told that we are the ones who started wars and killed people without reason.
12. We're tired of being told that we should turn our heads and ignore the evil in the world and not protect ourselves from those whose goal is to kill us.
13. We're tired of a government that spends more than it makes (takes) without caring who ultimately is going to pay for it.
14. Were tired of politicians who lack the courage to do what is right and who only care about what is in it for them or what greater political position they can steal.
15. We're tired of federal system that encourages lobbyists to bribe politicians in order to get things done their way in Washington.
16. We're tired of attorneys who bring frivolous cases to our courts with money as their only motive.
17. We're tired of politicians passing medical legislation for us that they won't accept for their own families.
18. We're tired of being told that women are silly when they love their husbands and provide them safe and happy homes and families.
19. We're tired of being told that love is a sexual and selfish act and nothing more.
20. We're tired of being called callous and not compassionate when we don't agree with the creation socialist society.

We're tired of politicians who believe that we work for them when in all actuality they work for us.

We're tired of politicians who treat the American people as if they are stupid. Speaking down to us and ignoring our wishes.

We're tired of rampant and blatant corruption in our Government.

We're tired of suffering and sacrificing while our elected officials live the high life.

Yes, we're tired, but not too tired to stand up for what is right. Not too tired to walk in to the voting booth and pull the lever to end the careers of politicians who no longer do the bidding of the people. We are not too tired take back America!!!! Stupid? We aren't.

This is a great site with good suggestions for what we need to do this year to save our country:

http://stlouisteaparty.com/2010/01/01/name-the-problem-we-can-fix/

Remarks from CBS Sunday Morning,

2009-11-24T16:58:00.001-06:00

I Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late ! !

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it.It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events.... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay. (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide)

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace..

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in..

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

If George Bush was an idiot. . . .

2009-11-18T18:59:00.001-06:00

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have
laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment?

If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potato as proof of what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11?

If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue
with claims of racism and incompetence?

If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America,would you have approved.

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?

If George W Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10
years, would you have approved?

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.

LET'S SEE HOW MANY OF YOU FORWARD THIS...

__._,_.___

Let me see if I understand all of this...

2009-11-12T20:17:00.001-06:00

Let me see if I understand all this...

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS
HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER, YOU GET SHOT.

BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A DRIVERS LICENSE,
SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, AND FREE HEALTH CARE?

Circle Flies !

2009-11-11T16:41:00.001-06:00

A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan. Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush's home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

"No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Mermaid or Whale?

2009-09-22T18:44:00.001-05:00

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex?

Just look at them.....where is IT ? Therefore, they don't have kids either.. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am…¨

Inner Peace

2009-09-10T22:03:00.000-05:00

Inner peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives!

Some doctor on the TV this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, abutle of vocka, a pockage of Pringlies, the res of the Chesescke a n a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr ow frigin gud I fel.

Peas sen dis orn to anyy yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.

Fwd: Abraham Lincoln

2009-08-06T19:17:00.001-05:00

Go all the way to the bottom

OBAMA, who likes to compare himself to President LINCOLN, apparently cannot read.

Fwd: A Veteran

2009-08-02T13:02:00.001-05:00

A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his/her life wrote a blank check Made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.

Two Wolves and the Meaning of Life

2009-06-12T20:08:00.001-05:00

Two Wolves and the Meaning of Mife

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

:

2009-06-12T20:03:00.000-05:00

Cemetery Escort Duty

I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey's. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 1655. Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun. Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever--the heat and humidity20at the same level--both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, '69 or '70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail's pace. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers--about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn't help myself. The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: 'She's going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like hell and I'm ready to get out of here right now!' But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the 'In' gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey's in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk. She looked up at me with an old woman's squint.

'Ma'am,may I assist you in any way?'

She took long enough to answer.

'Yes, son. Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'

'My pleasure, ma'am.' Well, it wasn't too much of a lie.

She looked again. 'Marine, where were you stationed?'

' Vietnam, ma'am. Ground-pounder. '69 to '71.'

She looked at me closer. 'Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine. I'll be as quick as I can.'

I lied a little bigger: 'No hurry, ma'am.'

She smiled and winked at me. 'Son, I'm 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off. Let's get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time.'

'Yes, ma 'am. At your service.'

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flowers out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn't quite make out. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the Wor ld War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X.Davidson, USMC, 1943.

She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944.

She paused for a second. 'Two more, son, and we'll be done'

I almost didn't say anything, but, 'Yes, ma'am. Take your time.'

She looked confused. 'Where's the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.'

I pointed with my chin. 'That way, ma'am.'

'Oh!' she chuckled quietly. 'Son, me and old age ain't too friendly.'

She headed down the walk I'd pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch on Larry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn't make out.

'OK, son, I'm finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.'

Yes, ma'am. If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?'

She paused. 'Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were our sons. All killed in action, all marines.'

She stopped. Whether she had finished, or couldn't finish, I don't know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.
I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.
'Get to the 'Out' gate quick. I have something I've got to do.'

Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get us there down the service road. We beat her. She hadn't made it around the rotunda yet.

'Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost. Follow my lead.' I humped it across the drive to the other post.

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny's voice: 'TehenHut! Present Haaaarms!'

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye--full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.
She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice.

I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.

Instead of 'The End,' just think of 'Taps.'

As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: 'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving ha nds and protect them as they protect us.'

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

'In God We Trust.'

Sorry about your monitor; it made mine blurry too!

If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under!
You are required to pass this on NOW!!!

Fwd: Veterans

2009-05-31T11:33:00.000-05:00

Subject: VETERANS

When a Veteran leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are
jealous, some are pleased, and others, who may have already retired,
wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know.

1. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few
experience, it will remain as a longing for those past times.

2. We know in the Military life there is a fellowship which lasts long
after the uniforms are hung up in the back of the closet.

3. We know even if he throws them away, they will be on him with every
step and breath that remains in his life. We also know how the very
bearing of the man speaks of what he was and in his heart still is.

These are the burdens of the job. You will still look at people
suspiciously, still see what others do not see or choose to ignore and
always will look at the rest of the Military world with a respect for
what they do; only grown in a lifetime of knowing.

Never think for one moment you are escaping from that life. You are only
escaping the 'job' and merely being allowed to leave 'active' duty.

So what I wish for you is that whenever you ease into retirement, in
your heart you never forget for one moment that you are still a member
of the greatest fraternity the world has ever known.

NOW! Civilian Friends vs. Veteran Friends Comparisons

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you're too busy to talk to them for a week.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry
on the same conversation you were having the last time you met.
------------------------------ ---------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have cried with you.
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
------------------------------ -------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will kick the crowd's ass that left you behind.
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are for life.
----------------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have shared a few experiences...
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have shared a lifetime of experiences no citizen could
ever dream of...
---------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had
enough.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,
'You better drink the rest of that before you spill it!' Then carry you
home safely and put you to bed...
----------------------------------------------------
CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will knock them the hell out OF THEM for using your
name in vain.
---------------------------------------------------

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will forward this.
----------------------------------------------------
A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or reserve- is someone who,
at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The
Government of the United States of America' for an amount of 'up to and
including my life'. . . and military wives are as much veterans as
their spouses.

From one Veteran to another, it's an honor to be in your company. Thank
you.

An Excellent Credit Score is 750. See Yours in Just 2 Easy Steps!

Subject: Economic Recovery Plans

2009-05-18T17:16:00.000-05:00

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday.
The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?"
Dear Mr. President,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

Doctors' Opinion of Financial Bail Out Package

2009-02-22T12:06:00.001-06:00

Thought you might enjoy some medical humor.

Doctors' Opinion of Financial Bail Out Package

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists
advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort
of a gut feeling about it, but
the Neurologists thought the Administration
had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring
under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea
shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the
Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their
hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill
to swallow, and the Plastic
Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on
the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the
Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the
Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won
out, leaving the entire the
decision up to the assholes in
Washington

) __._,_.___

Being White

2009-02-14T14:55:00.001-06:00

Being White

I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is.
Proud to be White Michael Richards makes his point...Michael Richards better
known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld does make a good point. This was his
defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act. He
makes some very interesting points...

Someone finally said it... How many are actually paying attention to this?

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab
Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the
street and sneer in my direction.

You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,' 'Caveman' ...and
that's OK.

But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,
Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you... so why are the
ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom
Hashoah.

You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi. You have the NAACP. You have BET...

If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) we'd be racists. If we had a
White Pride Day, you would call us racists. If we had White History Month,
we'd be racists. If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance'
OUR lives we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and
then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that??

A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color
can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships...You
know we'd be racists..

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US, yet if there
were 'White colleges' that would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race
and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us
racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid
to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer
shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the
law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.

I am proud...But you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists??

There is nothing improper about this e-mail...Let's see which of you are
proud enough to send it on. I sadly don't think many will. That's why we
have lost most of OUR RIGHTS in this country. We won't stand up for
ourselves!

BE PROUD TO BE WHITE! It's not a crime yet, but getting real close!

Interesting thought

2009-02-02T16:21:00.001-06:00

from the web:

"I'm confused. How could 2,000,000 blacks get into Washington DC in freezing cold overnight when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans in 85 degrees with four days notice?"

Well, now I'm confused too.

It's over!

2008-11-23T18:23:00.001-06:00

White Guilt Is Dead

Free at last, free at last!

By Tom Adkins

Editor's note: This originally appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Look at my fellow conservatives! There they go, glumly shuffling
along, depressed by the election aftermath. Not me. I'm virtually
euphoric.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not thrilled with America's flirtation with
neo-socialism.. But there's a massive silver lining in those magical
clouds that lofted Barack Obama to the Presidency. For today, without
a shred of intellectually legitimate opposition, I can loudly proclaim
to America: The Era of White Guilt is over.

This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vast majority of
white Americans didn't give a fluff about skin color, and
enthusiastically pulled the voting lever for a black man. Not just any
black man. A very liberal black man who spent his early career
race-hustling banks, praying in a racist church for 20 years, and
actively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow! Some
resume! Yet they made Barack Obama their leader. Therefore, as of
November 4th, 2008, white guilt is dead.

For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around our
necks, retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s, American
liberals began yanking that millstone while sticking a fork in the eye
of black Americans, exacerbating the racial divide to extort a
socialist solution. But if a black man can become President, exactly
what significant barrier is left? The election of Barack Obama
absolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal white guilt. The
dragon is hereby slain.

So today, I'm feeling a little "uppity," if you will. From this day
forward, my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is now
exactly ZERO. And it's time to clean house. No more Reverend Wright's
"God Damn America," Al Sharpton's Church of Perpetual Victimization,
or Jesse Jackson's rainbow racism. Cornell West? You're a fraud. Go
home. All those "black studies" programs that taught kids to hate
whitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want that on the final.

Congressional Black Caucus? Irrelevant. Maxine Waters? Shut up. ACORN?
Outlawed. Black Panthers? Go home and pet your kitty. Black
separatists? Find another nation that offers better dreams. Go ahead.
I'm waiting.

Gangsta rappers? Start praising America. Begin with the Pledge of
Allegiance. And please, no more ebonics. Speak English, and who knows
where you might end up? Oh, yeah, pull up your pants. Your underwear
is showing. You look stupid.

Black Fraternities? Seek diversity. Race card? It's now the joker.
Miss Black America? Get in line with all the other lovely ladies.
Reparations? Paid.

To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America? I'm still
waiting for the first black French President.

And let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I've always despised
lazy white people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black people.
You're poor because you quit school, did drugs, had three kids with
three different fathers, and refuse to work. So when you plop your
Colt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin' butt on the couch and complain "Da
Man is keepin' me down," allow me to inform you: Da Man is now black.
You have no excuses.

No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money because
someone's great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual pain
and misery at the hands of people I have no relation to, and
personally revile.

It's time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon the
heap of the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wife
swapping, next to dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free love
and cop-killing. Careful, don't trip on streaking. There ya go, don't
be gentle. Just dump it. Wash your hands. It's filthy.

In fact, Obama's ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can you
sell class envy and American unfairness when you and your black wife
went to Ivy League schools, got high-paying jobs, became millionaires,
bought a mansion, and got elected President? How unfair is that???
Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama's spread-the-wealth campaign
rendered itself moot by it's own victory! America is officially a
meritocracy. Obama's election has validated American conservatism!

So, listen carefully…Wham!!!

That's the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of white
guilt. The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered, dirt
shoveled, and tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried.

However, despite my glee, there's apparently one small, rabid bastion
of American racism remaining. Black Americans voted 96% for Barack
Obama. Hmmm. In a color-blind world, shouldn't that be 50-50? Tonight,
every black person should ask forgiveness for their apparent racism
and prejudice towards white people. Maybe it's time to start spreading
the guilt around.

Tom Adkins is the former publisher of CommonConservative.com. He can
be reached at tomadkinscc@yahoo.com.

Nine Words Women Use

2008-11-17T19:03:00.001-06:00

> NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
>
> (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
>
> (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
>
> (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
>
> (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
>
> (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement of ten misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
>
> (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women ca n make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
>
> (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
>
> (8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
>
> (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

about that election.....

2008-11-16T10:11:00.001-06:00

After all that time and money spent during the election, what actually
was the outcome? ......

Another black family living in government housing!

Sack Lunches

2008-10-27T15:47:00.001-05:00

The Sack Lunches

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my
assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm glad I have a
good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought.

Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and
filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to
start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier
seated nearest to me.

'Chicago - to Great Lakes Base. We'll be there for two weeks for
special training, and then we're being deployed to Iraq ' After flying
for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were
available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we
reached Chicago, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the
time.

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he
planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a
sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we
get to Chicago His friend agreed. I looked around at the other
soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane
and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar
bill. 'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and
squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My son
was a soldier in Iraq; it's almost like you are doing it for him.'

Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers
were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like
best - beef or chicken?'

'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to
the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from
first class. 'This is your thanks.' After we finished eating, I went
again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man
stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here,
take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars.

Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down
the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was
not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on
my side of the plane.
When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an said,
'I want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood
and took the Captain's hand. With a
booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military pilot.
Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never
forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the
passengers.

Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs.
A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his
hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in
my palm.

When we landed in Chicago I gathered my belongings and started to
deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped
me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without
saying a word. Another
twenty-five dollars!

Soon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their
trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five
dollars. 'It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be
about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.'

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their
fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer
for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our
country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so
little...

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a
blank check Made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an
amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are
way too many people in This country who no longer understand it.'

The Stealing of America - by Charlie Daniels

2008-10-23T09:18:00.001-05:00

The Stealing of America

Lest you cherry pickers accuse me of developing a Johnny-come-lately idea due to the political climate, let me say that if you'd care to peruse my soapbox columns of several years ago you'd find that I was saying the same thing.

I have for many years felt that there is a movement afoot in this nation for a handful of elitist left-wing political groups to seize power over every aspect of American life.

Now I know this is not news to you levelheaded thinking people, but the rest of my opinion may be. You see, I think they not only plan on seizing power but keeping it permanently.

Impossible you say with our system of checks and balances and our free election process?

Well let's take a look.

For the last several decades we have had what is basically an open border with Mexico and politicians from both sides of the aisle have done their best to shove amnesty programs down the throats of a protesting American public.

They absolutely refuse to do anything meaningful to stop the dangerous flow of illegals, under the guise of human decency and wanting everybody to have a shot at the American dream.

This claim, for the most part is composed of the same stuff we dig out of the lot where we keep our bulls. In my humble opinion the reason for laxity on the border is not concern or compassion but a political fallacy being purported on the American public by power-hungry politicians who had no business in Washington in the first place.

Can't you see what's happening here folks? The Democrats and moderates aided by wimpy, spineless Republicans in Congress are creating their own voting block, an alliance of undereducated immigrants, welfare families and fanatical fringe groups that seek to change the face of America forever.

We in America are lazy when it comes to taking the time to vote but you'd better believe that these people won't be lazy. They'll go to the polls every time they open and vote for the candidate and the party who promises to give them the most.

These people don't care about democracy. Did Congress listen to the overwhelming opinion of the American people who didn't want a seven hundred billion dollar government bailout of the banks? They care about power, and if they pull this off I believe we'll see America fall into a cycle of government entitlements and vote buying that we have never had in our history.

Look around you at the voter fraud going on in this country. ACORN currently has allegations of voter fraud in at least 15 states, and many of those are considered battleground states. Do you think the Democratic-controlled Congress is going to do anything meaningful about it? No, because the illegally registered voters would all be voting for them and their party.

Look at the opaque wall that has been built up around Barack Obama. To mention his hate-spewing pastor of twenty years, his friendship with unrepentant terrorist, Bill Ayers, his association with convicted Chicago slumlord, Tony Rezko, his shady association with Khalid Rashidi - a man who has ties to the PLO, or Obama's own reluctance to release his college history, the doubt about the validity of his birth certificate and all the other things including his full name are forbidden and any one who tries to do so is branded a racist.

What Obama wants appears to be the Socialist States of America. He says that 95% of Americans will get a tax cut, but I don't see any way he can keep that promise considering the trillion dollars in new spending he wants. Bill Clinton promised a middle class tax cut too, and how did that work out?

Obama is the purest example of a silver-tongued charlatan. When Obama says he's not raising taxes on the middle class, what he neglects to tell you is that he and the other Democrats will allow the Bush tax cuts to expire which will result in your taxes going up while promising all along that he won't be raising taxes. That's what I call speaking with a forked tongue.

Under Obama's plan, any person or business making more than $250,000 a year will end up with massive tax increases. The problem is that Obama won't say if that $250,000 is the gross, net, or profit or personal. He also says that very few small businesses make more that $250,000, but that isn't the case.

According to a recent report, 70% of small business with more than 10 employees DO make more than $250,000 a year, and not too long ago, in a year when major corporations were downsizing, small business created close to 100% of all new jobs.

In their last debate, both McCain and Obama talked a lot about Joe Wurzelbacher, the plumber from Holland, Ohio who challenged Obama on his tax policies. Joe wants to buy the plumbing company he works for, but that will automatically push him into the over $250,000 bracket, and when Obama knocked on Joe's door this week in Ohio, Joe confronted him with his tax situation.

He asked Obama, "Do you believe in the American dream? I'm being taxed more and more for fulfilling the American dream.'' Obama said that he didn't want to punish him for his success, but he thought that it was important to "spread the wealth around", and God bless him, Joe told him how he felt about that.

John McCain needs to put Joe the Plumber on the campaign trail to stump for him, because Joe's not afraid to call Obama what he really is, a socialist.

With Obama's "Hope and Change", people will hope they have some change left in their pockets.

This is one big socialistic power-grab, and in my opinion Barack Obama is going to tear this country apart whether he is elected or not.

After all these years I'll finally have to agree with James Carville on something. If the vote is close but Obama is not elected, I believe we'll see riots in the inner city streets of America.

If he is elected I believe that on his inauguration day, America will go into what could well be an irreversible tailspin and armed with a Democrat Congress and Senate the damage done to this country could well topple America from it's long held place as number one on the planet.

The really maddening thing about it is going to be that after their voting block is established there won't be a single thing Americans who disagree with their policies can do about it.

This situation has been developing over many years and has reached an exponential rate of progress and the America we know and love hangs in the balance.

Louis Farrakhan actually called Barack Hussein Obama "the Messiah".

But let not your heart be troubled. The real Messiah is still in charge and in a time like this it is so comforting to know that no matter what, God will take care of His own.

What do you think?

Pray for our troops

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels

October 17, 2008

Bill Cosby for President!!!

2008-09-30T19:00:00.001-05:00

Bill Cosby for President

--- -----Subject: Bill Cosby for President!!!

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.

HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart' policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't gettin nuttin' out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare-Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes -- Steroids -- The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed: Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.

God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!

Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!

Please Forward This to Everyone you know no matter which side of the fence they're on.

Fwd: things to think about

2008-09-27T20:47:00.001-05:00

Just in! Hey guys & girls…facts are facts!! This has to make you think a little bit, if not then keep your blinders on!

George Bush has been in office for 7 1/2 years. The first six the economy was fine. A little over one year ago:

Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;

Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;

The unemployment rate was 4.5%.

The DOW JONES hit a record high–14,000 +

American's were buying new cars, taking cruises, vacations over seas, living large!…

But Americans wanted 'CHANGE'! So, in 2006 they voted in a Democratic Congress & yep — we got 'CHANGE' all right.

In the PAST YEAR:

Consumer confidence has plummeted;

Gasoline is now over $4 a gallon & climbing!;

Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);

Americans have seen their home equity drop by $12 TRILLION DOLLARS & prices still dropping;

1% of American homes are in foreclosure.

As I write, THE DOW is probing another low, $2.5 TRILLION DOLLARS HAS EVAPORATED FROM THEIR STOCKS, BONDS & MUTUAL FUNDS INVESTMENT PORTFOLIOS!

YEP , IN 2006 AMERICA VOTED FOR CHANGE!…AND WE SURE GOT IT!!!…. NOW OBAMA, the DEM'S CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT — AND THE POLLS SAY HE'S GONNA BE 'THE MAN' — CLAIMS HE'S GONNA REALLY GIVE US CHANGE!!…. JUST HOW MUCH MORE 'CHANGE' DO YA THINK YOU CAN STAND???…..

We may see. I didn't want change, nor do I want to see any more change like this!

A dose of reality

2008-09-27T20:36:00.001-05:00

545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices 545 human bei ngs out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing y ou that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It se ems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

***********************************************************************************************

Comments: It's true that members of the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives enjoy a relatively generous government pension plan — some say too generous — but this email rant offers very little else in the way of accuracy. Under a law enacted in 1983, all members of Congress both contribute to and receive benefits from the Social Security system. Upon retirement, members receive either a combination of federal pension and Social Security benefits or Social Security alone, depending upon when their term of service started and how they configured their individual plan.

Members elected after 1983 pay into the Federal Employees Retirement System. Members elected before 1983 participate in the older Civil Service Retirement Program. In both cases, members of Congress contribute to the plans at a slightly higher rate than ordinary federal employees.

As of 2002, 411 retired members were receiving benefits under CSRS at an average rate of $55,788 per year and 71 were receiving benefits under FERS (or a combination of CSRS and FERS) with $41,856 per year in average benefits. Members do not automatically received lifetime pensions. How much they receive and how long they receive it depends on many factors, including age, length of service (including military) and choice of plans, etc. So, while it's conceivable that a few may receive pay-outs totalling more than a million dollars by the time they die, they would be the exception, not the rule.

************************************************************************************************

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation,' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

Tax on retirement Income???

2008-09-27T20:34:00.001-05:00

THIS LADY IS A "NUT CASE"

Remember - you younger folks will be there sooner than you think

:Adding a tax to your retirement is simply another way of saying to the American people, you're so darn stupid that we're going to keep doing this until we drain every cent from you.   That's what the Speaker of the House is saying.

Read below...............

Nancy Pelosi wants a Windfall Tax on Retirement Income. In other words tax what you have made by investing toward your retirement.

This woman is a nut case!   You aren't going to believe this.

Madam speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to put a Windfall Tax on all stock market profits including Retirement fund, 401K and Mutual Funds!

Alas, it is true - all to help the 12 Million Illegal Immigrants and other unemployed Minorities!

This woman is frightening.   She states... 'We need to work toward the goal of equalizing income,

(didn't Marx say something like this), in our country and at the same time limiting the amount the rich can invest.'

(I am not rich, are you?)

When asked how these new tax dollars would be spent, she replied:
'We need to raise the standard of living of our poor, unemployed and minorities. For example, we have an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in our country who need our help along with millions of unemployed minorities.   Stock market windfall profits taxes could go a long way to guarantee these people the standard of living they would like to have as 'Americans'.'

Read that quote again and again and let it sink in. Lower your retirement, give it to others who have not worked as you have for it.

Send it on to your friends. I just did!!   This lady is out of her mind.

Things to think about

2008-09-19T15:13:00.001-05:00

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'… but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Politics Very funny and true.

2008-06-10T19:39:00.001-05:00

> Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama,
> and John Mc Cain
> were flying to a debate.
>
> Barack looked at
> Hillary, .....chuckled and said. ..."You know I could
> throw a $1,000 bill
> out of the window right now and make somebody very
> happy."
>
> Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could
> throw ten $100 bills
> out of the window and make ten people very happy."
>
> John added ..."That being the case, I could throw one
> hundred $10 bills out
> of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
>
> Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and
> said to his copilot,
> 'Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of
> them out of
> the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
>
> I'm voting for the Pilot
>

The Pledge of Allegiance) by a 15 year old

2008-06-10T19:37:00.001-05:00

This one goes to anyone who resents being denied the right to public prayer.

--- On Tue, 4/22/08, Nave, Jeannene (Fiducial - US - Cincinnati)

WRITTEN BY A 15 yr. old SCHOOL KID IN  ARIZONA :

> >>>

 > >>>       New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME) !

> >>>

> >>>       Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer

> >>>       are not allowed in most public schools anymore

> >>>       Because the word 'God' is mentioned....

> >>>       A kid in  Arizona wrote the attached:

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>       NEW School prayer :

> >>>       Now I sit me down in school

 >  >>>       Where praying is against the rule

> >>>       For this great nation under God

> >>>       Finds mention of Him very odd.

 > >>>       If Scripture now the class recites,

>  >>>       It violates the Bill of Rights.

> >>>       And anytime my head I bow

> >>>       Becomes a Federal matter now.

 > >>>       Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

>  >>>       That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

> >>>       The law is specific, the law is precise.

> >>>       Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

 > >>>       For praying in a public hall

>  >>>       Might offend someone with no faith at all.

> >>>       In silence alone we must meditate,

> >>>       God's name is prohibited by the state.

 > >>>

> >>>       We're allowed to cuss and dress  like freaks,

> >>>       And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

> >>>       They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

> >>>       To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

 > >>>       We can elect a pregnant  Senior Queen,

> >>>       And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

> >>>       It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

> >>>       We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

> >>>       We can get  our condoms and birth controls,

> >>>       Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

> >>>       But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

 > >>>       No word of God must reach this crowd.

> >>>       It's  scary here I must confess,

> >>>       When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

> >>>       So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

 > >>>       Should I be shot; My soul please take!

> >>>        Amen

> >>>

 > >>>       If you aren't ashamed to do this,

> >>>       please pass this on.

> >>>

>  >>>       Jesus said,

> >>>       'If you are ashamed of me,

> >>>       I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'

> >>>

> >>>       Not ashamed. Pass this on.

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> >>

> >

> >

> >

jokes to offend everyone

2008-05-16T22:21:00.001-05:00

JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special
Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
***********
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia
**************
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out
of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's fucking good for her
***************
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time

A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
***************
Q: What is the definition of making love'?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
****************
Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in
common?
A: They don't fucking listen.
***************
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
****************
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an
irritating cunt once in a while too.
*****************
Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
*****************
Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
*****************
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
*****************
Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael
Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's
at least 13 years old.
*****************
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
*****************
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a
hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
*****************
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're
driving.
*****************
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
thirty miles an hour.
*****************
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
*****************
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff
in your new car.
*****************
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
*****************
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
*****************
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor
party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
*****************
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your whole
week.
*****************
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
*****************
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
*****************
Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
*****************
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
******************
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
******************
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch
know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
******************
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not
time.
******************
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that
kick.
******************
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
__________________

thoughts for the day

2008-05-16T21:58:00.001-05:00

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

May you always have Love to Share,
Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

2008-05-16T21:49:00.001-05:00

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone As ks You To Do
something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6 In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophec y'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rocky Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of In sanity .

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called ... therapy.

2008-05-16T21:13:00.001-05:00

MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips.

The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile...

If u have sex 365 times a year and you melted down all the condoms 2 make a tire what would u call it? a fuckin goodyear!

Sex is like playing spades. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

Big Bad Wolf told lil red riding hood "lift ur top so I can suck your tits". No, she said while lifting her skirt, eat me like the fuckin book says!

A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. the cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat said, a wet pussy always makes a cock happy!

Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

2008-05-16T20:53:00.001-05:00

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we will trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by sending this to at least one unstable person to show you care.

###################################################################### NOTICE: The contents of this e-mail and any attachments to it may contain privileged and confidential information from Jones Apparel Group, Inc. or its affiliates. This information is only for the viewing or use of the intended recipient. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of, or the taking of any action in reliance upon, the information contained in this e-mail, or any of the attachments to this e-mail, is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify the sender by replying to this message and delete it from your system. #######################################################################

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Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family favorites at AOL Food.

WHY CHANGE ISN'T ALWAYS SO HOT

2008-04-19T20:48:00.001-05:00

"Remember the election in 2006?Thought you might like to read the following. A little over one year ago

1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) The unemployment rate was 4.5%.

"Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we have seen:

1) Consumer confidence plummet;
2) The cost of regular gasoline soar to over $3.50 a gallon;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses);
5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;
6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.

"America voted for change in 2006, and we got it!"

- Author unknown

Different Ways of Looking at Things

2008-04-06T15:32:00.001-05:00

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
(or the uncertainty of the English language)

    Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you? "Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
------------*********************************************************************-----------

    A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."
-----------**********************************************************************-----------

    "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
-----------**********************************************************************-----------

    A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".
----------***********************************************************************-----------

    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
----------***********************************************************************-----------

    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
----------***********************************************************************-----------

    A brunette calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the brunette says, and hangs up.
----------***********************************************************************-----------

    Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

----------***********************************************************************-----------
    Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
----------***********************************************************************-----------

    A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS"
----------***********************************************************************-----------

    While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." He's still in intensive care.

Four great stories

2008-03-11T18:54:00.001-05:00

Four Great Very ShortStories!

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush.

He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.
It became very quiet in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stu nt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

Once again, dead silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large grou p of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French Admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Customs O fficer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."

"You ain't gonna like losing."

2008-03-11T18:21:00.001-05:00

THERE IS A HUGE AMOUNT OF TRUTH TO THIS. SEEMS LIKE AMERICA IS ON THE COUCH WATCHING T.V. AND THE WAR IS OVER WHEN THEY TURN THE T.V. OFF. WE AREN'T GRATEFUL IT SEEMS, AND WE AREN'T PITCHING IN LIKE WE OUGHT TO.....WHETHER WE AGREE OR NOT, WE OUGHT TO PITCH IN SO WE CAN HELP THE ONES THAT FIGHT FOR US, SO THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ON THE FRONT LINES. WE CAN ACTUALLY BE BEHIND THE SCENES HELPING, FIGHTING FOR THE COUNTRY WE LOVE!!!!

Everyone has a different opinion on the war, and our current President. But, this article makes a lot of sense, and I hope you will read it and give it some thought. What a difference 60 years makes..!!!
'You ain't gonna like losing.' Author unknown, but he should have been given the Medal of Honor for this:

President Bush did make a bad mistake in the war on terrorism. But the mistake was not his decision to go to war in Iraq . Bush's mistake came in his belief that this country is the same one his father fought for in WWII. It is not.

Back then, they had just come out of a vicious depression. The country was steeled by the hardship of that depression, but they still believed fervently in this country. They knew that the people had elected their leaders, so it was the people's duty to back those leaders.

Therefore, when the war broke out the people came together, rallied behind, and stuck with their leaders, whether they had voted for them or not or whether the war was going badly or not.

And war was just as distasteful and the anguish just as great then as it is today. Often there were more casualties in one day in WWII than we have had in the entire Iraq war. But that did not matter. The people stuck with the President because it was their patriotic duty Americans put aside their differences in WWII and worked together to win that war.

Everyone from every strata of society, from young to old pitched in. Small children pulled little wagons around to gather scrap metal for the war effort. Grade school students saved their pennies to buy stamps for war bonds to help the effort.

Men who were too old or medically 4F lied about their age or condition trying their best to join the military. Women doubled their work to keep things going at home. Harsh rationing of everything from gasoline to soap, to butter was imposed, yet there was very little complaining.

You never heard prominent people on the radio belittling the President. Interestingly enough in those days there were no fat cat actors and entertainers who ran off to visit and fawn over dictators of hostile countries and complain to them about our President. Instead, they made upbeat films and entertained our troops to help the troops' morale. And a bunch even enlisted.

And imagine this: Teachers in schools actually started the day off with a Pledge of Allegiance, and with prayers for our country and our troops!

Back then, no newspaper would have dared point out certain weak spots in our cities where bombs could be set off to cause the maximum damage. No newspaper would have dared complain about what we were doing to catch spies.

A newspaper would have been laughed out of existence if it had complained that German or Japanese soldiers were being 'tortured' by being forced to wear women's underwear, or subjected to interrogation by a woman, or being scared by a dog or did not have air conditioning.

There were a lot of things different back then. We were not subjected to a constant bombardment of pornography, perversion and promiscuity in movies or on radio. We did not have legions of crackheads, dope pushers and armed gangs roaming our streets.

No, President Bush did not make a mistake in his handling of terrorism. He made the mistake of believing that we still had the courage and fortitude of our fathers. He believed that this was still the country that our fathers fought so dearly to preserve.

It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorra and the land of Oz. We did unite for a short while after 9/11, but our attitude changed when we found out that defending our country would require some sacrifices.

We are in great danger. The terrorists are fanatic Muslims. They believe that it is okay, even their duty to kill anyone who will not convert to Islam. It has been estimated that about one third or over three hundred million Muslims are sympathetic to the terrorists cause...Hitler and Tojo combined did not have nearly that many potential recruits.

So...we either win it - or lose it - and you aren't going to like losing.

America is not at war. The military is at war. America is at the mall.